Ali Episode 6 recap

Tonight’s episode is brought to you in part by the word “magical.”


Show opens with Ali walking around Turkey looking pensive, wondering when the intern is going to bring her her first drink.


CH welcomes the 7 remaining men to Istanbul wearing his wife’s hot pink v-neck sweater set and high heeled black boots. The guys all have trucker hats on and look tired and jet-lagged.


The men go to their room and CH sneaks off to Ali’s hotel suite because he knows she’ll have some alcohol. That and to tell her not to be so sure that nothing could go wrong and to stop putting on her perfume- things are about to change! Dum-dum dum…


CH: “Ali, you remember Jesse from last season right? She’s the one who made up the story about Roz and the producer doing the nasty on the stairs in the mansion? Well she apparently found out something about one of these guys too. She’s a wealth of knowledge actually. I think she works for the CIA now. Anywho, she wants you to call her on this secure line. I know the phone is from 1974 but I promise you it’s safe. I’ll just go sit on this couch and look uncomfortable.”


CH dials Jesse’s secret number and Ali breaks out in a sweat. The phone rings 20 times before Jesse answers to tell Ali that Justin has a girlfriend who is with Jesse right then! Ali tries to work up some tears for the camera but really she’s just relieved it’s not Roberto.


Ali: “Whew! That guy was going home this week anyway. Thanks Justin’s girlfriend (who is still crying on the phone to Ali about how he two timed her as well). Maybe the ABC psychotherapist can finish this conversation with you but I’ve got to go talk to Chris Harrison about this now. Bye!”


Ali is pissed! And she’s such a bad ass that she’s not going to let Justin get away with this. She’s going to confront him herself. With the help of CH and the whole production crew of course.


Ali marches down to the guys’ room and sits them all down and calls Justin out. He gets up and walks away without a word. Ali chases him thru the hotel (after getting a reassuring hug from Roberto of course) but even though Justin still has a hurt foot, Ali can’t catch him. Justin wins this game of tag.


The guys are all mad too and stay in the room to bash Justin. Why didn’t any of them get up and beat his ass? Seems to me she would have liked that and probably given that guy the date rose. No?


Ali chases Justin all over the hotel grounds, begging him to talk to her. He continues to run from her as she repeatedly calls after him that he’s going to regret this. Finally Justin comes back to “explain” to Ali what happened. His best defense is that he’s sorry. Which is actually better than I thought he’d do.


Ali is still pissed and tells us this was her fear all along. But I can’t really figure it out because she never really appeared to care about Justin anyway.


As the camera shows Justin limping back to the airport, the ABC intern plays the saved voice mail messages from Justin to his girlfriend while we’re treated to some swangy Turkish guitar music.


It is now 30 minutes into the show and finally the first date card arrives! “Let’s Get Steamy!” for Ty.


Ali runs through the park and the pigeons scatter a la Elaine Benes. She’s ready to move on and focus on Ty. Ty shows up wearing a tiki necklace he borrowed from Bobby Brady after their trip to Hawaii and the two walk hand in hand around the city to buy cheap cheesy tourist t-shirts.


Ali and Ty go to an old bathhouse and sit around wrapped in picnic tablecloths. Then they start rubbing lotion on each other. Both look so hot and uncomfortable. When Ty goes in for the kiss, Ali turns her cheek.


Back in the bachelor suite, the next date card comes: “Love Conquers” is a group date for Chris, Roberto, Kirk, and Craig which means that Frank gets the one on one date.


Back on the date, Ty’s voiceover tells us the chemistry was there between him and Ali on their date as the camera shows us Ty leaning in to finally kiss her while she clutches her knees to her chest and looks so uncomfortable. Ty is in love and planning their honeymoon back in Turkey.


Over dinner and drinks, Ali questions Ty about his divorce. I couldn’t quite make out what the reason was. Did the ex wife want to work and Ty thought she needed to stay home and cook and clean? Or did she want to be a Dottie-Domestic and he thought she needed a job? Very confusing. But Ali has consumed enough wine by this point that she no longer really cares. She gives Ty the rose and they kiss. Then they go outside and dance on the street to street musicians. They are so bad they make Kate Gosslin look good.


The group date begins with the four guys walking down the street, looking for Ali. She’s up in a castle. After being spotted, she throws down her hair extensions for the guys to climb up. Ali is chugging a huge beer even though it’s only 8:00 a.m. She tells them there will be no rose on the date but they will need to olive oil wrestle for some special alone time with her.


All four of Ali’s guys got their asses kicked by the Turkish wrestlers. Then they have to wrestle each other. First up is Craig vs. Chris. Craig wins. Kirk and Roberto fight and Roberto wins. Then Craig beats Roberto in a strange twist of salad dressing wrestling. He gets the alone time with Ali.


Ali wipes away tears and sniffles that she really wanted Roberto to win. Afterall, that’s why she make up the silly oil wrestling anyway- she thought for sure Craig couldn’t possibly win that one! But she sucks it up and gets on the boat with him to start sucking down more alcohol.


The last date is a one on one with Frank. He shows up wearing the weatherman’s Members’ Only jacket whining about his insecurities with Ali before they go to a Turkish flea market and laugh at the natives.


Ali and Frank go down into the sewers to have dinner. Ali describes this place as being “magical.” Just like the castle where she had drinks with Craig and the bathhouse she went to with Ty and the spa she went to in Iceland and just about everything else she needs an adjective for. They wade through ice cold water to get to the bottle of champagne and huge plate of bread and rolls.


Frank tells Ali that he only wants to be married once. They all say this every season and it always cracks me up! Who says, “Ya know what? My goal is to get married, have it go horribly wrong, get a divorce, and get married twice baby! Second time’s a charm!” DUH!


Maybe it’s the sewer gas she’s been breathing in or maybe it’s because she’s consumed a whole bottle of champagne but either way, she’s smitten with Frank’s “I’m only getting married once speech” and gives him the rose.


The pre-rose ceremony cocktail party arrives and so does Chris L. wearing sneakers with his suit. Ali sneaks into the room of pictures without CH and looks at the frames. CH catches her in there and she tells him the most shocking thing all season- she wants to skip the cocktail party and go right to the rose ceremony.
CH: “Just so we’re clear Ali, if you skip the cocktail party you’re also skipping the cocktails. That means no alcohol. You understand that, right?”
Ali: “Oh yeah, I’m good with that. I’ve been drinking since noon. Just like every other day we’ve been filming. I’m good.”
CH: “Ok, then I’ll go tell the guys that Craig is going home. Come join us to tell him goodbye when you’re ready.”


Ty and Frank already have roses. The rest go to Roberto, Chris, and Kirk. Which means that along with Justin, Craig is also going home this week.


Craig cries in the reject van on the way to the airport. I feel bad because I don’t feel bad for Craig. I just want to know where Ali got the cute heels she was wearing. Unfortunately, she doesn’t tell the guys that info, but instead informs them they are heading to Portugal next week.


The previews show us basically who is going home next week, who the final 3 are and that Frank ends up dumping Ali before the rose ceremony to take it down to the final 2. Did the ABC intern mess up with airing this footage? Or did Fliess just pull another fast one on me again? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see…