Ben Episode 4 Recap

Episode opens with grand sweeping views of Park City, Utah and the first helicopter of the season! Ben’s long locks are blowing in the breeze as he gazes out the window at the beautiful trees and mountains while musing about the memories he had with his grandfather. Somehow, in Ben’s head, that translates to romantic dates with the remaining women. He climbs on a horse (he’s back on the saddle since the dumping via Ashley) and heads across the wilderness to greet the ladies.

The girls arrive at the villa wearing their leggings and big scarves and nude colored heels. CH is there to greet them and for the 101st time, give them the run down on how the show works.

CH: “Welcome ladies. Let’s talk about the dates this week. As you know, not everyone will go on a date. If you get a rose, you are safe till next week. If you need me before I have to count to 11, I will be in the hotel bar getting drunk. Until the next rose ceremony... here’s the first date card.” Then he makes like a rapture and disappears.

First date goes to Rachel- “Let’s let nature take its course.” Ben picks Rachel up in the helicopter and the sight of the big bird pushes Kacie B. (who seemed normal up until she mentioned she was in love with Ben already) over the edge. She starts to self-destruct with jealousy. Ben takes Rachel and her huge cans (where did those come from?!?!) for a boat ride where Rachel shares with Ben and the world that she wants to “be in front.” They paddle across the lake and turn into vampires half way across. It’s a good thing too because otherwise these two have nothing to say to each other. Awkward! So what do you do when you are stuck in a canoe surrounded by a million flies with a girl who is dull? Make out of course!

And when you are the producer, what do you do? Cut to a shot of the house lesbian under a blanket with another girl back at the hotel. Kacie B. is starting to melt down faster than an ice cream cone on a hot summer day!

As Rachel and Ben open the bottle of bubbly for their mandatory date picnic it strikes me who Ben reminds me of! Crosby from Parenthood. That show is so good. So much better than this snorefest. Did Ben just point out a beaver dam?!?!

For the night portion of their date, Ben and Rachel walk thru the woods via Blair Witch Trial to eat dinner in a secluded cabin. I’m guessing it will be easier to dispose of the body out in the middle of no where after Ben kills her just for something interesting to happen.

Back at the hotel, the next group date card arrives. It’s for Jamie, Casey S. (who?), Blakely, Lindzi, Samantha, Nicki, Kacie B., and Courtney. “Let’s see if you’re a good catch.” Courtney makes a snide remark about being on the group date before chewing her bottom lip the rest of the way off her face.

The part of Rachel and Ben’s date where he dumps her is coming up. So the producers cut back to the secluded cabin where the titillating conversation about the hot fire is coming to a close and Ben is showing Rachel the door. But wait a minute! What’s this? He’s giving her the rose!What???? They are feeding each other smores? Huh? What did I miss people? Did these two have NOTHING in common?

Cowboy Ben saddles up for the group date and charges into the water on his stead to meet the ladies. His long locks are blowing in the breeze and the girls LOVE it! Giddy up!

He takes them fly fishing and makes them all put on waders and boots- the sexiest attire for all the ladies. Once again, the producers have put together a date that is about as interesting as watching someone fish. Oh wait a minute- we are watching someone fish! Good thing they’ve also kept around Courtney for some added drama. The girls back at the hotel discuss her and her craziness over a few bottles of Ben’s wine for breakfast. Courtney steals Ben away for some alone time fishing. Lindzi decides she can’t have that and butts into their time just as Courtney catches her first fish. Am I still watching this?

The girls clean up for the night portion of their group date. They head back to the Waldorf for some more wine and whine. Ben pulls aside Casey S. for the first alone time. Before the girl can speak her first word of the season, Nicki interrupts them to steal Ben away for herself. She admits that her dad passed away right before she left for the show and Ben shares that he lost a good friend right before coming on the show too. I wonder if Ben was friends with Nicki’s dad. They kiss right before Samantha comes over to do the talent portion of the competition followed by the bikini portion. Her talent is either her impression of a horse or her cleavage. The whole time she is talking at Ben, he’s looking around, desperate for someone to come save him. Where is CH when you really need him to show up with a butter knife and champagne glass? Ben questions if Samantha is there for the right reasons or not. She insists she is. He’s not buying it and decides to make the cut. I’m sorry, Miss Philadelphia, you will not be moving on in this competition. Ben grows a pair and sends her packing immediately.

Courtney uses her amazing powers of deduction to figure out that Samantha really liked Ben and that’s why she is crying when he sends her home. She’s a brilliant one.

Back at the hotel, the next date card arrives to announce that Jennifer will be going on the last one on one date to “pick our love song...”

Kacie B. and Ben get some alone time on the group date. He takes her to a hotel room to chat and chill before she completely melts down. They make out a bit as Ben admits to the camera that he really likes her. He’s so openly smitten with her that you know she will not be the final one.

Then Courtney steals Ben away for a while to “take the rose” and make out. She also makes sure to bad mouth all the other girls like she does best. She also makes sure to eat her bottom lip off her face like she does bet too. Her neuroticness leads me to believe that she is a distant relative of Charlie Sheen. As Ben give her the date rose she says, “Winning. Winning, duh!” to the camera. Of course she accepts the rose to the complete pissed off-ness of the other girls.

The next day Ben arrives to take Jennifer for their one on one date. He takes her hiking up a small hill to a fenced in area that the two trespass on. Ben makes some dumb analogy to how overcoming your fears with someone makes your relationship stronger. The two stumble upon a roped off, fenced off, taped off, hole in the ground. They decide to strip down to bathing suits and repel down into it. They drop a diving board’s height into a cess pool of warm water to swim around and talk about taking a plunge together.

For the night portion of their date, they ride a ski lift up a mountain to have dinner in the pouring rain and talk about their past relationships. Ben grilled her like a job interview candidate. I think she will be getting a second interview. As the rain comes, they run in the dark to an abandoned building to make out and for Ben to give her the rose. They head back down the mountain to attend a Clay Walker concert. Who is Clay Walker? I don’t know but Jennifer sure pretends like she does. ABC has hired a lot of extras to sit and watch this guy sing while Bennifer dances around them. The paid extras also part like the Red Sea so Bennifer can walk to the front row. Man, I wish he’d been with me back in college when I always had to elbow my way to the stage.

Cocktail party finally arrives. Bring on the drama! Or Ben and his skinny tie. Is that thing knit like a sweater!?!? While Ben drags Monica aside for some alone time, Emily starts to self destruct like Kacie B. She cannot get over Courtney’s evilness so she steals Ben aside to tell him what a psycho Courtney is. Ben doesn’t want to hear it and basically tells Emily that she needs to get over it or get over him. When she tells some of the other girls, Casey S. (who?) is one of them. What we do know about Casey S. after this show: 1.) she if friends with Courtney. What we don’t know about Casey S.: 1.) everything else. But she does run back to Courtney to ask her where she left her pants and to tell her what Emily was saying about her. This info really pisses Courtney off. She’s a nice person. I mean, she wants to shave Emily’s eyebrows off or at least rip her head off but really, she’s a nice person.

Ben pulls Nicki aside to ask her where she got the yellow nail polish. I think she bought her polish at the same store that Casey S. bought her blue polish at. Before they return to ask Casey S. they make out in the snow.

Emily and Courtney have a stare down on the couch while the other girls stare at each other’s boobs that are hanging out. Courtney throws out a few “winnings” before walking off to bitch at other girls about her. I’m so over this. Where the hell is CH?!?!? Yay! He heard me and arrives banging his champagne glass of doom to whisk Ben way and practice counting to eight.

Rachel, Courtney, and Jennifer already have roses. The other eight go to Lindzi, Jamie, Nicki, Kacie B., Elyse, Blakely and her long earrings (where does she get all these?), Casey S. (who?), and Emily. Which means that Monica, the group lesbo and group therapist will be joining Samantha in the reject limo. Do you think we’ll see the two of them making out on the way to the airport? Do you think Ben will finally see Courtney’s bitchyness? Do you want to know what they put on their bikini tops to keep them from falling off as they dive into the water on all these dates? Where do you think the journey will take us next? Leave your thoughts in the comment section and I will see you back here next week!