Ben Episode 2 Recap Ben Episode 2 Recap

Before I get to the recap I wanted to thank those who read and comment each week. I know more than 3 people read this so if you do read it and you like it please comment. Also, I will apologize in advance for this recap being only slightly more entertaining than watching paint dry. I've come to the conclusion that Ben is pretty dull (emphasis on the word dull) and therefore, recaps of the back of a cereal box would probably have more substance than this but anyway, here you have it!

Episode opens with views of Ben's vineyard. Or any other vineyard really. He's walking Scotchie and the grapes they show make me thirsty for a good glass of vino. Then again, my laundry, the grocery list, the tv remote often all make me want a glass of wine as well but that's neither here nor there. Ben decides to bring all the women to his hometown. Screw the mandatory 10 weeks before seeing his city- Ben is breaking all the rules and bringing these bitches home on the second week! That or CH was too drunk to pay the mortgage on the mansion this month.

The women arrive in Sonoma, move into their new digs, and Ben drops the first date card for Kacie B. while the rest of the girls go night swimming. Ben takes Kacie B. (why does he keep calling her by her name and the first initial of her last name? Are they in second grade?!?!) to a deserted park for a walk. They end up in a hotel lobby to play heart and soul on the piano that the ABC intern had to lug back inside after last week's solo Ben played on it outside of the mansion. After Ben realizes his lesson isn't going well and Kacie B. can't play at all, he takes her to a toy store where she buys a baton to show off her majorette skills. Not sure how this move didn't get busted out at the first night cocktail party. Not sure what happened after that either because I think I fell asleep.

Back at the house, the next date card arrives for Brittney, Rachel, Jennifer, Blakeley, Emily, Jenna, Shawn, Monica, Samantha, Jamie, Nicki, and Jaclyn. "Come Play With Me- Ben." Blakeley pretends she's not interested in going on a date with the other girls because she wants Ben to herself but I see her making eyes with Monica.

Back on the snorefest, I mean date, Ben pretends this show worked for him once before and therefore gives Kacie B. the date rose. She accepts, they kiss, Ben takes her and her baton twirling to a private screening of her childhood movies, followed by Ben naked fixing things with his dad as a two year old.

The next day, on the massive group date, Blakeley wears the ugliest unitard/overalls combo ever. She's ready to show off her boobs her love for other women her “spark” and get the rose.

Ben has hired "playwrites" to write a play for the ladies to act out. Unfortunately, they're a bunch of 8 year olds.

Ben: "I love kids so I thought it'd be a great idea to get some kids involved in this date!"

ABC Intern: "Shit! I gotta call Chris before CSB shows up!"

The kids have all the girls make fools of themselves.

Back at the house, Courtney and Lindzi discuss who will get the last one on one date of the night. Courtney and her Rainbow Brite shirt put Lindzi and her dimples down buy telling her she only got the first impression rose because she rode in on a horse. Erika listens in like this conversation is about her.

Ben takes the women to a community theatre to perform the play the kids wrote. The girls pretend they are 1.) nervous and 2.) the people there are expecting to see a professional play instead of the one their kids wrote. Three things about the play: 1.) it was terrible, 2.) there is no way 5th graders wrote that, and 3.) why did Ben have to get "almost" naked? He does NOT have a "smokin' body." (I'm talking to you Nicki!).

Of course there is a wrap party after the play where Rachel and Emily pull Ben aside to group kiss him while Blakeley group pissed off the rest of the girls by talking about how she's going to guard and protect Ben's heart with her inner wrist tat and her 15 inch earrings.

Samantha meanwhile sulks off because her Miss Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania sash was covered up by her costume during the play so Jennifer and Jaclyn go looking for her. When they find her hiding in the bathroom, Jaclyn offers to lend her her doily jacket if Blakeley gets the rose.

Anyone else having a hard time staying awake at this point? When is Jenna going to open up her bag of crazy again and make this party interesting? And where the hell is CH when you need him anyway?!?

Meanwhile, back at the house, the doorbell of doom rings, bringing the news of the date card and who gets the one on one. It goes to Courtney who likes "winning, duh!" "Let's Spin The Bottle - Ben." This pissed all the other girls off because they haven't played that game since 7th grade and really want to.

Back on the group date, Ben has gotten all the ladies into the pool for games of chicken and "see whose earrings can be used a a floatation device." After loudly kissing Jennifer and dirty kissing Blakeley, Ben gives the date rose to Blakeley because her earrings won the game. Blakeley gets all hot and bothered just talking about Ben. "I mean, I'm getting wet just thinking about it!"

The next day, Ben brings Scotch (the dog, not the liquor- he's a wine man, remember?) along for his date with Courtney. I'm really hoping for some baby talk with the dog. Instead I get to witness Ben dog howling while walking through a forest of redwoods. I'm betting Courtney didn't even need to be there.

Over dinner, Ben gets Courtney to open up about her relationship with Jesse Metcalf. Apparently he left other women's underwear in their bed. I wonder if they were Gabrielle Solis's? Ben eats her up with a spoon, the two loud kiss, he gives her the rose.

Finally we arrive at the rose ceremony cocktail party. But still no sign of CH. Because they already have roses and are safe, Courtney wears Jaclyn's doily dress and Blakeley sees if she can get away with wearing 18 inch earrings.

Ben pulls Lindzi aside to reassure her that even though she didn't get a date this week, she's still getting a rose. I mean, she rode in on a horse the first night people! Of course she's getting another rose. That and her dimples are so deep, Ben is afraid she might be hiding a gun in there!

Finally some drama starts to happen but honestly at this point I was so bored with the show it didn't make up for the 1 hour and 40 minutes I'd already wasted on it. Blakeley steals Ben away from Miss Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania for some alone time. This makes all the other girls angry since she already has a rose. Then she goes in for some more one on one time with Ben causing the other ladies to want to punch her in the face. Especially Monica who thought they had something special together. And by "they" I am not talking about Ben. Blakeley doesn't understand why her behavior upsets the other girls and she starts to self destruct. She goes to the luggage room, crouches in a corner, and fake cries till Ben comes to find her like they were playing a game of hide and seek.

Ben pulls Jenna outside and I hold my breath, hoping for something interesting to finally happen with this episode. Surely this lunatic will do something crazy, right? Unfortunately, the only controversially thing she does is try to burn the place down by putting a blanket on a candle. Boy Scout Ben to the rescue though! Crisis adverted. Just as Jenna is starting to open up about her sex change by telling Ben she's not really a girl, Jaclyn comes to interrupt the pari by telling Ben she's found the Wizard in the Emerald City! Jenna pulls an Ali and cries under a big comforter in bed.

Finally, 110 minutes into the show, CH, the real reason we all watch this show, makes his first apperance of the night after getting all the hookers out of the mansion and sleeping one off. He pulls Ben aside before another chic's dress gets twisted backwards or takes a dump in the corner of the suitcase room. He impresses everyone with his ability to carry roses to a table and count to 16. Kacie B., Blakeley, and Courtney already have buds. The other 13 go to: Jennifer, Emily, Eylse, Jaclyn, Erika, Rachel, Lindzi, Nicki, Casey S. (who?), Samantha, Monica, Jamie, and Brittney. Which means Shawn gets to go back to her son and Jenna gets to go blog about how she's not really a girl. I was so hoping that craziness would stick around a while longer. Now my money's on Blakeley and Courtney for being the nuttiest and bitchiest duo left.

So what did you think? Anyone else have trouble staying awake? Who do you think returns next week in the hooker heels? Who faints? Who is not there for the right reasons? See you next week when this amazing journey continues!