Brad Episode 8 Recap

Tonight’s show opens with 10 minutes of previews of what we are about to see/what we’ve seen the last 7 weeks. Then Brad welcomes us to NY city, where he’s packing his duffle bag for a trip to all the girls’ hometowns while wearing the chauffeur's hat he stole form Julio. Why is he in NYC anyway? Doesn’t he live in Texas? And isn’t the show is filmed in LA? Seriously ABC how did we end up in NYC? Anyhow, we get to see Chantal’s rapid weight gain, Ashely’s nervousness, Shawntel’s bike riding skills, and Emily’s tragic past before Brad takes off to meet the ladies’ families.

First hometown date is with Chantal in Seattle, Washington. She meets Brad wearing her patented season 22 scarf. Brad joins her wearing a dorky leather vest. They hug, then walk around Seattle before thanking each other for nothing and doubting themselves for everything. They head to Chantal’s house to meet her 53 cats and dog that she has dressed up. They drink a couple of beers, then head over to Chantal’s parents’ house. And by parents’ house, I mean, mansion that is really just a Hollywood studio’s set. There, he meets her mom who looks like she is about 30 years old, her dad who looks like Donny Osmond, and little brother who looks like Justin Beiber with shorter hair. Chantal and Daddy sit outside to talk about Brad. She drops the L word and Donny starts to sweat like CH in a cheap suit. Man, could he have looked any more nervous? Brad then takes his turn with the dad outside to discuss a statue the family paid poor immigrants to carve with little hammers and toothpicks. Then they retire inside to bash their fathers. Meanwhile, Chantal and her mom sit on studio set C to talk about trusting their hearts. Brother Justin is suspiciously absent but the lyrics to “Baby” are heard floating thru the house.

Next hometown date is with Ashley in Maine, even though she’s supposed to be from Philly, Pennsylvania. They go to lunch at the bar she worked at in high school to eat some “puts-in” which is just fries and gravy. Ashley feeds him steaming hot french fries and criticizes his crowns while burning his mouth. Then they pick up food for dinner before making out in front of a tourist sign while making Julio take pictures of them. Julio then drives them to Ashley’s parents’ house where Brad gets to meet Mom, Dad, some girl with a bunch of tattoos and a random guy. Ashley becomes “drunk” with love and she starts humping Brad like a dog in heat. They all sit down to eat the food Brad bought before dad pulls Brad aside to ask him if he wants to have kids.

Dad: “So do you want kids?”

Brad: “Absolutely. Does she?”

Dad: “Not sure. You might want to ask her that.”

Brad: “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. That’s something I don’t know about her. Hmmm...”

Meanwhile, Ashley sits uncomfortably close to the three other family members on the tiny couch and admits that she really doesn’t know Brad. She likes him but isn’t in love with him yet. They talk about her finishing school and being almost done with it. Isn’t she a dentist? Don’t you need to graduate in order to be a dentist?

Brad visits Shawntel’s hometown next, Chico, California. Their date starts in a cemetery. Shawntel too is wearing the patented season 22 scarf. She decides the way to Brad’s heart is to educate him on death. Or just scaring him to death. She gives him the tour of the funeral home and teaches him how to use the crematory.

Then she takes Brad to meet her mom, dad, and two younger sisters. He’s surprised that since this family deals with death every day that they are so full of life! He’s also surprised that her family doesn’t want her to move to Austin. I mean, that would just be crazy. Right? To move across the country to marry a guy you have known for 4 weeks! However, dad lays on the guilt and explains to Shawntel how her moving away from town would affect the whole community! Why, her 2 week vacation has already had catastrophic national consequences! I’m sure her not preforming the cremation of the boy she went to high school with is what caused all the problems in Egypt right now!

Meanwhile, while dad tells Shawntel how her having a life of her own is ruining his life, Brad, the guy who owns and operates bars for a living, decided to make a cocktail for mom in the kitchen. By his own words, he gives her a glass of fruit juice before the two sit down to chat. They tell each other nothing. I think mom is a mute. Seriously- did she say a single word? I’m guessing the dad doesn’t let her talk.

Last hometown date is with Emily in Charlotte, North Carolina. Brad meets Emily and Ricky in a park where Emily is carrying her 5 year old daughter around on her hip. Brad shows how awkward he is around children by continually just repeating “hi” to Ricky after forcing her to take a gift. Then Brad continued to creep me out by referring to Ricky as “Little Ricky” every time he talked about her. They eat a picnic, fly a kite, and somehow everyone feels great about each other again before they return to Emily’s house for a game of Candyland. Brad and Emily tuck Ricky into bed, turn off the lights, and leave her alone in her bedroom with a cameraman so they can head back downstairs for some wine and kissing. Wait! No wine? No kissing? Brad somehow feels like not kissing Emily is respectful because she has a daughter. He tries to leave but Emily has been jonesing for a kiss all day and won’t let him leave without planting a wet one on him at the front door. She tells the camera that the day was perfect and she’s never been this happy.

Brad goes back to NYC for a sit-down with CH. Brad has apparently fired Dr. Jamie and ABC has put the king back in his place. Brad and CH rehash the show and all the hometown dates. They also discuss why CH is wearing a sweater vest a la Chandler Bing under his suit coat. Romantic piano music plays in the background. CH goes to let the women in to the rose ceremony while Brad stares at their Glamour Shots pictures. He finds the answers he’s looking for by looking out the hotel window.

Roses go to Emily, Chantal, and Ashley. Shawntel and her hair Bump-It is released back to the custody of her father.

So that is where we end week 8. With the “I mean that; I truly do- no doubt about it” count at 86 for the week, we head into the fantasy suite dates in South Africa. Hopefully the next dates are a little more exciting than this week. I will be back then!