Brad Episode 6 Recap

The show opens with Brad traveling to Costa Rica, talking about how he’s a different man since the last time he was the Bachelor. He’s also glad he’s gotten a second chance at finding love. I pause to wonder how ABC has control over if Brad finds love again. Did he have to sign some contract that says if he doesn’t pick someone, ABC has control of his heart?

The ABC intern again uses the graphics to show a map with a plane flying from Vegas to Costa Rica. The girls arrive in Costa Rica in their yoga pants and solid color tank tops, sans scarves. Michelle tells us she’s more sure than ever that she can "make" Brad fall in love with her. Ahhh- the romance! Brad greets the girls at the hotel and walks them to their “amazing” villa. Then he drops the first date card on the table and makes like proms dress and takes off.

“Close your eyes, hold on tight, love is in the air tonight” for Chantal.

Michelle is up set that Chantal gets the one on one date. She’s also confused why it wasn’t her. I am starting to question if she has ever watched this show before.

Michelle: “If she’s the girl for him, then clearly I am not.”

Me: “No shit!”

Michelle: “I can only hope Chantal gets attacked by monkeys. Or apes! Or Chantal gets attacked by golden retrievers. Or dogs!”

Meanwhile, Chantal is preparing for her date by powdering her face and neck and packing her bags. She also changes into a fresh tank top and yoga pants. Brad picks her up, pops her in a helicopter, and takes her to the longest zip line course in the world.

Before taking off, Chantal makes a completely inappropriate comment about seeing Brad at the end of the course and being “nice and wet.” They zip alone, they zip together, they make out in the rain, then go shower for a romantic dinner.

Their coconut picnic dinner gets rained out after about two mintues. The pair seem confused why it keeps raining on them. The intern tells them they are in a freakin’ rain forest and the pair runs to Brad’s hotel room to dry off. Brad gives Chantal a white button down shirt of his to wear but nothing else. He gets so turned on by her that he has to excuse himself for a few minutes. He finally gives her the rose. I’m sure she was also hoping for a pair of pants. That poor cameraman had to do some quick moves to avoid a Brittney shot.

Second date is a group date for Jackie, Michelle, Emily, Ashley, Shawntel, and Britt- “Love Springs Eternal.” They are going rappelling down a waterfall. Jackie (like me) is deathly afraid of heights. But she sucks it up and does it. Michelle, however, is pissed! She thinks Jackie is being a drama queen. She also is mad that they are rappelling again on their group date- that was supposed to be her and Brad’s special thing! But she’s most upset by how nice Brad is being to all the other girls. Apparently she’s hoping to be with a guy who likes to slap girls around?

Michelle’s bi-polar disorder shows through as soon as Brad tells her they are going to rappel down together. She’s no longer mad at all! She’s so happy again and confident she’s getting the rose.

The group date then moves to a hot springs. Apparently there were no hot tubs available that weekend. They drink some shots before Brad pulls Jackie aside to tell her how proud he is of her. I think he accidentally read a parenting magazine before the date. Even though that seems like the worse compliment you could get from a boy you like, Jackie doesn’t seem to mind what he says to her as long as they are alone together.

Michelle also gets some alone time with our Bachelor. She again starts to show him her crazy side. And I’m not talking about her fun crazy side or her wild and crazy side. I’m talking her certifiable side. She basically yells at him for taking Chantal on the one on one date but is even more upset because Chantal also got a rose on that date. He shuts her up by kissing her.

Brad finally ends the date by giving the rose to.... NO ONE! He’s gonna teach those whiney bitches to stop playing games!

The third date is for Alli- “Meet me at the alter.” In a strange twist of irony, Brad picks Alli up for their date on a horse. Why were those tiny horse following them though? They ride the horses to a muddy stream to wade in ankle deep water through a huge rock with a crack in the middle. Alli, who has already shown us how afraid she is of bugs, continues to demonstrate child-like behavior and tells Brad how afraid she is of just about everything on their date.

They finally make their way through the cave, go shower, and meet on a two square foot “island” floating in the middle of a swimming pool for dinner. How did they even get out there?

Brad: “So tell me about your last relationship. How long did it last? Why did it end? Did he die of boredom from spending time with you?”

Alli: “It was 2 years. He was a great guy but just not great for me. Has that ever happened to you? You know what I’m talking about?”

Brad: (letting out huge sigh of relief and a nervous laughter) “Oh boy do I ever! Thanks for getting this conversation started for me. I like you as a person Alli, but not as a girl for me. So I can’t give you this rose.”

Brad walks Alli to the reject limo, goes back to his hotel room to sulk and there is a knock at the door. I fully expect it to be Dr. Jamie, but apparently it wasn’t in ABC’s budget to fly fake therapists to Costa Rica for Brad. Instead, the producers realize there is 45 minutes left to fill in the show and tell Crazy Michelle which hotel room is Brad’s. They gave her the push she didn’t even need.

They sit on his couch and she hits Brad before telling him she misses him when they aren’t together and then starts kissing him. Then she starts in on Chantal again. Even though Brad has told her a number of times that he doesn’t want to talk about the other girls, Michelle starts listing each of their flaws and why he should send them home. She also tells him she was pissed that he didn’t give out a rose on the group date while groping him.

The rose ceremony cocktail party arrives and so does a somber Brad. He admits to the ladies that he’s had a rough week and has caught some flack for not giving out a rose on the group date.

Einstein Chantal cracks the code that it had to be Michelle who gave him shit about the rose but they all wonder when she had time to talk to him about that. Shawntel asks Brad outright who it was but he doesn’t spill the beans. So they play the quiet game and make out.

After being questioned by every girl left, Michelle finally admits to the girls that she went to Brad’s room and gave him grief for not giving out a rose on the group date. But she assures them that she didn’t bad mouth any of them. This is after she has told Brad in their alone time that she only told him who to send home because he made her. I’m starting to think she doesn’t realize this is all taped.

CH finally arrives with his champagne glass of doom. I was afraid ABC didn’t fly him to Costa Rica either and I was worried who would count to 5 for Brad.

Chantal is the only one who has a rose. The rest go to Ashley, Emily, Britt, Shawntel, and Michelle. Which means that joining Alli in the reject limo is Jackie.

So that is where we ended the week. What did you think? Anyone else sick of hearing Brad “woo-hooing” everything they do? With the side forehead braid count at 42 this week, we are heading to Anguilla. See you there!