Ali Episode 8 recap

The show opens with Ali walking around a garden looking like she just smelled a fart. She tells us she's excited about meeting the four guys' families, packs her suitcase, and hops on an airplane (now that ABC has cured her fear of flying) to go to Tampa, FL to meet Roberto's family first.


Ali jumps out of the Jeep wearing Ginger's blouse from Gilligan's Island to fling herself into Roberto's arms. Roberto takes Ali to the baseball diamond where he used to play AAA ball. He gives her a jersey with his old number on it and tries to teach Ali how to bat. She appeares to be pretty decent. Although, I'm sure the 10 clips we see of her throwing, catching, and hitting were just 10 out of 10,000. Ali makes Roberto carry her around the field. Then they sit down to drink champagne and Roberto gives her his baseball card collection. Ali admits she's nervous about meeting Roberto's family because she knows nothing about them. So Roberto makes it all clear as mud for her.
Roberto: "My dad's tough. But he's not too tough. And my mom is passive, you know?"
Ali: "No Roberto. I don't know. That's why I'm asking you. That's why I'm nervous. I'm sure I won't be good enough for them. Or you. Or anyone. I'm scared they won't like me. So just give me more champagne and kiss me."
Roberto complies.


They go to Roberto's parents' house. His mom looks like she's 20 years old. His brother is even hotter than his is! Dad has a few questions for Ali though. He's pretty skeptical of everything. He gets Ali to share her goals with him:
1.) She wants to own her own business. What that business is we never find out.
2.) She wants to be successful. Yes, she actually said that.
When asked if she'd be willing to give up some things she might want for Roberto, she says, "I want Roberto to be happy. For him to be happy, I need to be happy. So I need something that fulfills me too. Why are you asking me this? The producers said I'd always get what I want!"


Roberto's parents give Roberto their blessing to propose to Ali. Then they all salsa dance in the living room after the intern pushes the furniture up against the walls.


Next, Ali goes to Cape Cod to meet Chris and his dog. It's pouring rain so Ali wears her high heeled tall leather boots to walk around the beach. Ali's jeans get tighter as the day goes on and her butt gets bigger. It takes Chris 5 minutes into the date to bring up how he moved home when his mom got sick. He is Tenely and his dead mom is Tenely's divorce and ex-husband.


Apparently the landscaping business is booming in Cape Cod. They go to Chris's mansion, drink some beers while looking at pictures of Chris's mom, then go sit outside in the rain. Ali's bra stuffing is lopsided during their conversation and her left boob is bigger and higher than her right boob. Her mardi gras beads make it obvious. And her hair has grown 2 inches since she's arrived in Cape Cod because her roots are terrible. She doesn't even bother to brush the rat's nest before meeting Chris's dad and the rest of the fam.


I gotta say, I love Chris's family! His dad is like the perfect old man or grandpa. I want to marry into this family and I'm already married! What is this guy doing on this show? He seems way too normal. I'm sure he's not going to "win" and ABC will make him the next Bachelor. This is the first time in the show's history (and yes, I've watched every show of all 20 seasons!) that I've almost cried real tears. This family is so awesome!


As they are saying goodbye to his family at the end of the night, Chris has to pull Ali's beer out of her hands and push her into his dad's arms for a hug. Then they go to a tower to drink wine and make out like a couple of horny teenagers. And I've finally found fault with Chris- he's a terrible kisser. It looks like he's gonna suck her whole face off!


Ali goes to Greenbay, Wisconsin to meet Kirky's family. First they go to his dad's house. They don't even have their coats off and already Kirk's dad is creeping me out with his askewed toupee and asking Ali if she wants to go see his basement. I think I've seen this guy's picture on "Wanted" posters for child abduction. "Hey, little girl.... want some candy? Want to see my basement?"


Meanwhile, Kirk's stepmom is a wealth of knowledge for her dear stepson.
Step-mom: "You gotta go with what you feel. When your dad met me he said he had to think with his head, not just his penis." Or something like that...


Then they go to Kirk's mom's house. Ali brings a gift bag to his mom. Hopefully it contained some teeth. Ali and his mom bonded over their same hair extensions, Bump-its, and bad dye jobs.


Last stop for Ali is Chicago for Frank's hometown date. Frank walks around Navy Pier wearing Duran Duran's favorite outfit until he just happens to bump into Ali. She jumps into his arms and he tries to spin her around but she's gained so much weight he can barely lift her up. So they get on a boat and drink some beer. Frank whines about the situation and Ali doubts her self worth before going to meet Frank's mom and dad.


Dinner with the family goes well. While Ali and Frank's mom talk outside, Frank chats with his sister and her husband in the Trading Spaces Asian inspired room. Frank expresses his doubt over Ali. Foreshadowing?


The rose ceremony arrives and CH finally makes his first appearance of the night one hour and 44 minutes into the show. He welcomes Ali back to the mansion in LA and sits her down to talk since they still have 16 minutes to kill.
CH: "Welcome back Ali. How was it?"
Ali: "Amazing!"
CH: "Let's break it down. You started off with Roberto. What was his family like?"
Ali: "Amazing!"
CH: "Next was Chris. Tell me about that visit."
Ali: "Amazing!"
CH: "What about Kirk?"
Ali: "Well other than the fact that we didn't take our coats off the whole time, it was amazing!"
CH: "Last was Frank..."
Ali: "He's so amazing! Can I just give him the final rose now?"
CH: "We've been through this Ali. You need to lead two others on for a couple more weeks. Can you do that?"
Ali: "I guess."
CH: "Ok, well I'm going to go let the guys in. Then I'll be in the corner practicing counting to 3. Come out when you're ready."

Roses go to Roberto, Chris, and Frank. Which means Kirk has to go home.

So that's it folks... what did you think? Did Kirk's dad scare you? Do you think his freaky family is what sent him packing? What's Frank's deal? Who do you think will get the final rose? Leave your comments below and I will see you all next week!