Thanks for sticking with me another week. Again, I apologize for getting the recap up so late. Between my daughter’s softball game schedule and my boredom with this season, it’s been difficult for me to get through the show each Monday night. Having an extra day has made it easier to endure. With that said, let’s get to the show!
The episode opens with a cat sitting on a ruined castle wall and Emily arriving in Croatia sans Little Ricki. The men arrive on a fishing boat without CH. How will they ever figure out the rose situation without him there to explain what it means to get a rose vs. what happens if they don’t get a rose?
Emily welcomes the guys to their suite at the hotel and drops off the first date card to Travis- “Let’s look for love beyond the walls.”
Travis packs his shit, changes into a plaid button down which is proving to be this season’s long scarf. Except for with Ryan who didn’t get the memo that explained the switch. Travis greets Emily in the Old City and they walk around the walled city while Emily recites tourism brochure information to him.
For the night part of the date, Emily and Travis walk through the rain to a courtyard candlelit dinner. Emily wears her Olivia Newton John pleather jacket and jeans. The ABC intern forgot to give Travis the dress code memo so he shows up wearing a sports coat and and dress shirt. They’re gray. He opens up to her about his failed engagement two years ago. Emily keeps mum about her failed engagement from two years ago. Travis flatters Emily every chance he gets. But Emily isn’t buying it even though she likes him as a friend. She’s not feeling the romance and so she sends him home roseless. And umbrellaless. Dude, why’d you do that?
2nd Date: John, Doug, Sean, Duckie, Chris, and Arie. “Lasting love requires bravery.”
Why are there still this many guys on group dates? Or at all actually? They all show up for the date wearing their plaid button down shirts and meet Emily at the movie theater. They watch a children’s G rated movie. The extended commercial for the new Disney movie seems a little off to me. After all, how many 5 year olds are watching The Bachelorette? OK, I suppose Little Ricki and all her friends are. Fair enough! But the guys all seem to love it!
Afterwards, Emily makes the guys wear kilts and compete in their own version of the Highland Games. They ride around on asses to shoot arrows, throw logs, and perform in a gay version of tug-o-war in which the winner ends up with another guy between his legs and on of top of him. The producers give Emily a nice warm winter coat to wear while the rest of them freeze their donkeys off in sleeveless shirts and short skirts. Even though Sean was the best and won all the games, Emily awards the “bravery cup” to Chris because even though he sucked at all the events, he owned it! Emily gives him some alone time and they kiss under a rainbow.
For the night part of the date, Emily takes the guys to a cocktail party in the freezing outdoors. She at least allows them all to change out of the ridiculous kilts and summons the ABC intern to find more big soft blankets. She pulls each of them away for a little alone chat time and make out sessions. Chris gets the date rose in the end though.
3rd Date: Ryan “The world is our oyster.”
The men all sit around the hotel room with their hoodie hoods on their heads and listen to Ryan brag about being the first guy to get the second one on one date. Everyone agrees that Ryan is an ass. Everyone but Emily apparently, as she’s the one who come to pick him and his cheesy pick up lines up. Ryan continues to feed Emily terrible pick up lines and she eats them up! The duo go oyster fishing. Emily chokes on the oyster and can’t swallow it. Next time Ryan will give her a pearl necklace instead. No swallowing required!
For the night portion of their date, Ryan and Emily go to dinner inside a castle. Ryan drops more Ryan-isms. He reads his list of 12 things he wants to find in a wife. Emily likes his list of bullshit but would rather his number one item be “loving family.” So because of this, Emily can’t give Ryan the date rose. Ryan spews his voo-doo magic and makes the bachelorette question herself. Where is CH when he’s needed most? Emily clearly needs a pep talk from him! Seriously. Where has he been? At home signing the divorce papers? At the local bar getting hammered with Fliess? At a strip club? We need you Harrison!
CH is no where around so Arie decides he needs to be the one to comfort Emily after her rough date with Ryan. He “sneaks” over to her villa with prompting from the producers to “surprise” her. He gives her props for sending Ryan home, they snuggle and kiss. And she LOVES it! She loves it so much she gives Arie Ryan’s rose. Arie doesn’t mind sloppy seconds. He doesn’t even mind when Emily tells him the rose is a secret and he needs to hide it.
Cocktail Party
Emily arrives wearing Princess Leah’s robe. Too bad she didn’t do the side buns too. Chris has a rose already. Arie has a secret rose. Emily says that John and Doug are on the bubble. She pulls John aside first. They snuggle under the same fluffy white blanket that Emily and Duckie made out under at the beach. Hope the ABC intern has washed that thing! John shares his grandparents’ funeral cards with Emily. They share some tears and bond over the deaths of loves ones. He gets his first kiss and pops Emily’s bubble.
Next, Emily pulls Doug aside. They sit as far away from each other on the couch as possible and discuss how shy Doug is. He mumbles all his answers to Emily’s questions before Emily finally makes the first move and forces Doug to put his arm around her. Their whole convo is very uncomfortable.
CH finally arrives with his champagne glass of doom. Where has he been this whole episode?!? Has he been practicing counting to four this whole time or what?
Emily comes out to hand out the roses. Chris already has a bud. Sean, Duckie, and Arie get the next three. CH announces that he knows that four minus three equals one and Emily freaks out. She rushes out to find the corner CH is hiding in and asks him to help her break the rules. I think she is going to give the rose to CH himself (wishful thinking, huh?). She reminds me of Jake when he did the same thing only she does it much more coherently. Good thing the producers make a WWCHD bracelet for all bachelors/bachelorettes. Emily asks CH for an extra rose. CH proves that he also knows how to add as well as subtract and brings out another bud for Emily to hand out in the most unsuspenseful rose ceremony ever. Which means that both Doug and John get to stay another week.
And that’s where we end week six of this journey. What do you think? Did Emily make the right choices this week? Do you think Duckie gets cuter every episode? Who do you think will go home next? Discuss in the comments section and I’ll see you next week. If you need me before then, I will be writing down my top 12 list of Ryan-isms.
No comments:
Post a Comment