Due to my cable box acting up, I only got to watch parts of the WTA. We will call this recap and “mini recap” as it will be much shorter than usual and only hit on the major talking points.
CH decides to actually work a full episode for once and opens the show by welcoming all the women and the 5 men to the most dramatic Women Tell All ever! After witnessing most the season condensed into 15 minutes of recaps, CH’s ear piece starts to buzz. Apparently, the producers realize they need more to fill the 2 hours so the start to roll the footage of all the past Bachelor/Bachelorette rejects who randomly gather to share stories and STDs from their season. We get to witness Crazy Kasey’s “guard and protect your heart” tattoo again, Vienna’s lazy eye, Roz’s sexuality, and Ali and Roberto kiss. They were contractually obligated to show up and make out so ABC can flaunt their “successful” relationship.
Finally, after 30 minutes of nonsense, CH brings out this season’s ladies. Some of them I swear I’ve never seen before. Who is Stacy, the bartender again? Was she even on this show? This season? And why are we giving a whole segment to the cat fight between Raichel and Melissa? Who cares? Oh that’s right... gotta fill the 2 hours with something.
Next up on the hot seat is Michelle. I was all ready for the crazy but instead she brought the tears. And lots of them. Did you know she went on the show “for the right reasons”? And she has a daughter? That she mentioned for the first time on WTA? Because I never heard her talk about her on the show. But she’s a fabulous mother. But wait- oh snap! No you didn’t! Stacy the bartender from Boston is looking to further her 15 minutes of fame. She calls Michelle a bad mom for leaving her daughter to find a husband on a reality dating show. She wasn’t raised that way. She’s relentless. Until CH steps in to scold her with a “Really?” while Michelle sobs on the couch. And licks her lips. Man, she really drove me crazy with that last night!
Next in the hot seat is boring Ashley S. I really had to tune her out, her voice is so irritating. And she’s pretty boring. So the producers bring out Ashley H. Or her stunt double who looks nothing like her. CH questions her about everything and she remains so diplomatic you just know she’s vying for the next Bachelorette position.
Brad finally arrives and screams “Mercy” for the first 5 minutes he’s in the hot seat. Dr. Jamie must have told him to pick a new safe code word other than “no doubt about it” because I didn’t hear him utter that favorite phrase once! He tells everyone how he’s so happy now with whoever he picked and truly had a great experience on Round 2. CH warns him that this is his last chance, they laugh about it, and we get treated to 10 minutes of previews for next week’s finale.
So that’s it girls. What did you think? Did you notice how Shawntel and her creepy funeral home commercial weren’t mentioned at all? Why was CH still wearing that weird women’s ring? Did you think he was gonna have a smack down with bartender Stacy from Boston over making Michelle cry? Who else was hoping for that to liven up the show? And who do you think Brad will pick next week? Sweet Emily and Little Ricki or Chantal and her feathered headdress? Tune in next week to find out!
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